A New Beginning

I haven’t been posting much lately because I just haven’t been in a good mood when it comes to my weight this month. I have only lost 3 pounds so far in November, which just isn’t up to par. Lately my motivation has really been floundering when it comes to weight, and I’ve really started to feel like just throwing in the towel and letting things coast for awhile.

So, in that vein, today I decided to blow off my workout and instead return the sweater my sister gave me for my birthday that didn’t fit quite right. I have had an aversion to actual shopping for a long time now and I’ve been doing ALL of my shopping online. I even buy groceries online, seriously, I just hate stores. Aside from grocery shopping, which I’ve always disliked, my shopping aversion is definitely weight related. I hate getting all dressed up (I refuse to go in public wearing sweats and without some makeup unless I’m going to the gym because I don’t want to look like a slob) to go to a store where people will see me and inevitably see my weight. Not to mention that clothes shopping has been miserable for at least a year now, and also on and off for most of my life depending on my weight. I hated that I would see something cute and want to wear it, only to discover the buttons are all being pulled when I try on the largest size the store carries. It’s emotionally draining and depressing.

Today, however, I went shopping for clothes and I actually had a great time. Read the rest of this entry »

So I am starting to think about hitting the panic button… I’m not exactly sure what that would entail though.  I measured myself again on Saturday, and some of it is promising, but it’s also scary.  Mostly, what is scary to me is how I just don’t seem to be losing enough weight around my middle.  My stomach seems to be changing shape but not really shrinking all that much; my thinnest point is smaller, but around my belly button I have had almost no change since day 1.  I worry, of course, because my dress is still so far from fitting!

Here’s a little comparison:

Ok, well, that’s interesting… I was convinced that I wasn’t losing anything off my waist, yet that’s the area I’ve lost the most from.  I guess it just shows how big I actually was at the beginning!  Scary.  But, it’s still scary because I have such a long way to go before the dress will actually fit me in the waist.  Ugh.  As of Saturday the hip should fit, but seeing as I have an A-line dress, that was never going to be an issue in the first place.  The bust is pretty close too, but again, I wasn’t worried about that!  Is there a way to somehow shrink your wasit more quickly?  *sigh* I hate having an apple shape; pear shaped people have it so much easier when it comes to clothes. I mean, really, how hard is it to put on a cute A-line skirt?  I would wear one everyday if they were flattering on me, but unfortunately, skirts are always a challenge since my midsection is such a problem.

Anyway, right now I want to be definitively out of the 170s.  Read the rest of this entry »

Today I did my first workout as a 27 year old. Yikes, I am starting to sound old. But, I have been working with my doctor trying to figure out what the heck the deal is with my total lack of endurance when it comes to running and Friday she sent me an email which included what I consider an interesting development. She suggested that it’s possible I’m just working beyond my anaerobic threshold. Amazingly, I had never heard that term before (I thought I had heard/read it all when it comes to exercise and losing weight). So, I looked it up, and it turns out that if you are pushing yourself too hard it really is possible that your lungs and heart cannot keep up. What happens is that your muscles start releasing more lactic acid than your blood can “carry away” and you become extremely fatigued very quickly.

The way the articles I read describe the process fits almost exactly what I’ve been feeling. When I would run I literally just could not go on after awhile. After my workouts, instead of feeling refreshed or energized I normally feel horrible, actually. I am SO tired I can barely move and when I’m going back to my office I usually feel as though I’ve just been beaten up. Honestly, it’s amazing that I’m even willing to exercise because I really do just feel miserable afterward most of the time. So, I kept reading the articles, and from what my doctor said, exercising beyond your anaerobic threshold can help you to increase where the threshold is, but it’s a very slow process and gaining the kind of endurance that you’d expect from a training program like couch to 5k is basically impossible when you’re working at that level. I can’t believe no one has ever mentioned this to me before!

Today, armed with my new knowledge, I decided to try running with no incline on the treadmill. Read the rest of this entry »