A New Beginning

2008 is almost over, so I think it’s a natural time to reflect on everything that has happened over the past 12 months.  Let’s see, at the beginning of 2008 I was newly engaged and trying to figure out a reasonable living arrangement.  At the time, Rob was renting a 2 bedroom apartment and I had my 1 bedroom condo.  My place was smaller, but MUCH nicer since I owned it and had done tons of remodeling (I know I’ve mentioned my decorating obsession).   So naturally, Rob spent all of his time in my condo… he visited his huge TV and xbox for about 2 hours a week, but other than that his apartment was just an expensive storage unit.  I knew that both our current places had to go, so we put my condo on the market for sale and looked for people to take over his lease.  We got lucky and found both at about the same time (I think Rob officially lived in my condo for about 3 months before we closed on the sale).  I weighed about 195 on January 1, 2008, but by April 19th, when we moved into our house, the stress of everything had me up to 205.  Yikes.

I thought the long walk to the train would help me lose weight without too much effort, but I was definitely wrong.  Our move was anything but smooth, and all the flooding and random house projects caused me to hold onto every pound I gained.  I signed up for Spark People in February.  I visited the site a lot and read lots of stories from others trying to lose weight.  I searched for success stories of people who had lost even more than I had to lose, just so I could get it into my head that it’s possible to get my weight under control.  I didn’t actually do much to work on my weight until June, but I think the mental preparation I did during those four months I was on Spark were actually really important.

I remember reading one spark page in particular over and over.  Read the rest of this entry »

I just got the greatest gift idea ever for one of my friends… I cannot wait to get home and make it!  I’m definitely going to post a couple pictures.  I think I’ll make a couple sets and put some for sale in my etsy store.  I love stuff like this and I’ve really been on a crafting roll lately.  I hope the art store has the supplies I need, I’ll be disappointed if they don’t.

Anyway, as for the subject at hand, things are alright.  My weight was high today, but I did not use the bathroom all weekend so I’m really not surprised.  I’m feeling a little off today, so I hope I’m not getting sick.  I did manage to do my 30 minute run at 5.1 mph today and it really didn’t feel any different than running at 5.0 mph did.  I didn’t expect there to be much difference, of course.  Running for 30 minutes straight is still tough for me in general though, so I don’t want to rush myself too much on the speed.  After I ran, I was reading some Runner magazine while I was on the elliptical.  Man, people who run marathons all the time are insane, that’s all I can say.

Well, I suppose I should eat lunch or something.  I don’t feel much like eating anything, to be honest, but I probably should.  I have a bit of a headache and it needs to go because I have some serious crafting to do at home!

I’ve blogged about this before, but I’ve been newly annoyed today, so I’m doing it again.  Today at the gym I was reading Shape magazine on the elliptical.  The cover had all sorts of intriguing headlines, but one that specifically caught my eye was that they were profiling 6 women who, combined, had lost over 300 pounds.  I thought to myself, maybe this will be the time when Shape actually writes an article about someone who really is overweight and who didn’t become that way by going from fit and active to inactive and constantly gorging.  But, nope.  Every single one of the profiles started out like this “Anna had always been a size 8 or 10, but then she got stressed out, knocked up, and stopped moving entirely…”  or “Susan was tall, thin, and athletic, but then she decided to stop exercising and got a job…”

I really hate articles like this because I just cannot relate to them.  I understand what it’s like to gain weight during a stressful period, because that happened to me recently at the beginning of this year.  I gained about 15 pounds during the process of getting engaged, selling my condo, buying our house, getting a new job, and then flooding our house repeatedly.   Stress adds pounds.  I get it.  However, what I also know from this experience is that losing those 15 pounds really was not that tough compared to all the pounds I’ve lost after them.  I am so beyond sick of hearing about women losing stress and baby weight.  What about people like me?  What about those of us that have always been overweight?  I have not been a healthy weight since I was a young child.  I was teased about my weight in school and I’ve felt out of place because o f my weight my entire life!  For me, weight is always a constant issue and is something I cannot go more than a few hours without thinking about.  So, to Shape magazine, I ask you this… what about me?

What really gets me about these articles is that they make me feel as though there is no hope to become a normal size if you haven’t been one before.  Read the rest of this entry »