A New Beginning

Blah! That pretty much sums up my mood lately.

So last week (I think) I wrote about how I was getting so content and how I’ve been feeling as though I know what I need to do to lose weight but no longer sure if it is worth it to do what it will take. In many ways, I still think that way. I often read Shape/Self/Health magazine when I’m at the gym and I forget which one, but one of them does these 1 page profiles on people who have lost weight and kept it off. Usually it’s some chick that is my height, got up to 200 pounds for like 3 months, and then started exercising again and got down to her “pre-baby weight” or is “smaller than I was in high school” (!)… big deal. I’ve said it before and will say it again, I think it is easier for someone who was once thin to get back to that size than it is for someone in my shoes who has never been thin in their life. I would stake money on that and I think it makes perfect sense if, for no other reason, than a person who was once thin must have at one point had habits that allowed them to manage their weight. I have never had such habits.

So back to my point, I am willing to do quite a bit to lose weight, but at some point I have to draw the line. It’s when I read those profiles in whatever magazine that I find myself shaking my head and saying “not worth it.” Here is why… when I read the rare story of a woman who “beat her destiny” and lost weight for the first time in her life it seems like she’s gone to such extremes to make it happen. Either these women lie in their stories (or to themselves) or they are insane. They usually claim to do 60+ minutes of cardio 5 times a week, 30+ minutes of strength training 3 times a week, and yoga or stretching at least once a week. Honestly I just do not feel like I have time for that, and I have too many things I enjoy doing to want to make the time for that much exercise. But, even if I did somehow find 2 hours a day to work out, I like diet coke, I like fast food, I love wine, I like going out to eat, and I refuse to be that annoying customer that needs my meal specially prepared without oil and with broccoli in place of french fries for the rest of my life. I just won’t do it. So, given how content I’ve felt with my appearance these past few months and the way I’ve been enjoying just being more relaxed about food and working out, I have started thinking that maybe 155 to 160 is just good enough for me.

But, then I went out with a bunch of my friends over the weekend and I’ve been doing some thinking. Read the rest of this entry »

So I was just on one of my Spark Teams on Spark People and a post got me thinking. In the post, one of the team members was talking about a health and wellness class she just attended and in the class the instructor talked about goals. The instructor asked everyone to think about why they have the goals they do. She also asked the class how much they are willing to “pay” to reach those goals. That is something I have been thinking about so much lately and honestly, I don’t know if I am willing to pay the price I need to to meet my weight loss goals anymore.

Just thinking about why I have the goals that I do, my reasons initially were many. Now, I can’t really say. I picked a goal weight of 130 because one day like a year and a half ago, my sister was over for a party and at one point we went up into the master bathroom and she weighed herself in front of me. I think I was trying to decide what a reasonable goal was for myself, actually. So, fully clothed and in the evening where we had been eating and drinking she stepped on the scale and it said 130.0. I figured, if that’s what she weighs totally dressed and after eating, then that’s a reasonable amount that I can weigh if I’m undressed and haven’t eaten anything. Reasonable enough, right? Then I picked a bunch of weights between my weight at the time and my ultimate goal that seemed significant for one reason or another… 10% loss, getting into a certain BMI category, etc.

When I first started trying to lose weight, I had so many reasons for wanting to do so. Read the rest of this entry »