Nikki’s Tips
As I’ve been going on this journey, I have learned a lot, I think. These are my best tips, updated as I go, and I think these are the reasons I’ve been successful this time after failing to lose weight for so many years.
1. Mentally Prepare – There simply is no way to lose a meaningful amount of weight and keep it off without making serious changes to your lifestyle. You have to be ready for that reality and have to accept it. This is the #1 reason I was not successful in the past. I wanted to lose weight, but I didn’t want anything else about my life to change. Unfortunately that was an impossibility. It took me a very long time to fully comprehend and accept that my life HAD to change forever if I wanted to be fit and healthy. Once I had that idea digested, the changes I made were easier to swallow. You just can’t think about dieting or exercise as a temporary thing. I agree with experts that the idea of a diet needs to be banished from your thoughts.
2. Go it Alone – I cannot even count how many times I have read that you should get an exercise partner to help you get to the gym. Personally, I have never had any success with that. This is how I think about that now; it has taken me over 15 years to get to the point where I am now, the point where I know I need to make meaningful, permanent changes. What are the odds that your friend has reached that point at the precise time you have? Not great, if you ask me. If you need an appointment to get you to the gym then go with group classes. Not only is it less embarrassing for me personally to work out around strangers over my fit friends, but it’s a lot easier to schedule exercise when I only need to worry about my obligations and not those of a friend. Plus, whether or not your partner is fit, you may progress at different levels; slowing down for a slow friend or trying to match pace with a fast one will become frustrating. I have tried having a workout partner so many times and it has always failed because my partner, like me, was wishy-washy and instead of having to justify on my own why I wasn’t going to work out, I had a partner helping me to justify the poor decision. Two heads are not always better than one.
In this same vein, when I started trying to lose weight, I didn’t make a big deal about it to friends, family, or my coworkers. Basically, the only person who knew was my fiancé, because we live together and cook together. I think diet changes should, for the most part, be on a need to know basis. Telling my friends and family has never added any great support for me. Most of them have not been overweight and if they are, they don’t care to change. The ones who aren’t overweight don’t understand that I simply cannot eat the way they do and weigh what they weigh. Plus, it’s like they think “oh, she’s working so hard, one night out is just a break she deserves.” Unfortunately, a night of cosmos and bar food can easily undo weeks of work. No, thank you. I often schedule things relatively early on the weekends; they’re a great way to avoid going out late drinking and making bad decisions, and no one gives me a hard time or sabotages me. We all have at least one friend or family member that has only known us as overweight and really isn’t happy about that changing because it has implications for them… yet another reason they don’t need to know.
3. Work Out Away From Home – If you’re like me, you’ve seen a thousand infomercials for the latest and greatest exercise machine or DVD, complete with a diet plan, that will turn you from flab to fab in just 30 minutes a day! Working out “in the comfort and privacy of your home” seems like a great idea, especially for an overweight person, like me, who was too embarrassed to go to a gym or be seen even trying to work out by anyone. In reality though, once at home it is extremely easy to end up on the couch, and the next thing you know, it’s 10:30 and time for bed. Home is full of distractions like TV, Internet, video games, family members, the phone, etc. For exercise to become a habit, which it needs to be, it has to be as convenient and automatic as possible. I have found going to the gym immediately before or after another obligation (like work, dropping kids off at school, etc.) is the easiest way. The location of the gym is very important. Mine is directly across the street from my office. This gives me no excuses, because even in horrible weather, it is right there. As an added incentive, I workout in the morning and don’t get up early enough to allow for showering before I need to be out the door. So, I would have to go into the gym no matter what, just to get properly dressed. It’s so easy and integral to my routine now that I just cannot skip it, and I haven’t missed a workout in over 8 months.
4. Make a Mantra – I recently read “Secrets of a Former Fat Girl” in which a now athletic, size 2 woman wrote about her “secrets” for losing weight. In the book, her mantra is “it’s not an option” which she used as a motivational tool to get to the gym and stay on track with her diet (as in, eating that “is not an option” or skipping a workout “is not an option”). Well, without realizing it, I had already come up with some similar thoughts of my own. I’ve gotten to the point where working out is basically automatic for me; food is still the tough part. So, my mantra is “it’s only food.” I need to consistently remind myself that food is just that, it’s food. It’s not fun, it’s not entertainment, it’s not love, it’s not friendship, it’s not acceptance. It’s food. Ultimately, food is more enemy than friend for me, but it is easy to forget that when it’s 90 degrees and you’ve seen at least 15 kids with ice cream cones wandering through Epcot. So, I’m constantly reminding myself that food is nothing magical and “it’s just food” has helped me stop myself before I eat to figure out what it is I am really wanting and helps me separate food from my emotions. For example, I always associate food with fun, but what’s really fun are my crazy friends, our bad jokes, bad dancing, etc. It just so happens that food is usually around too. Lately I’ve been making gatherings at my house less food-centric, and they’ve been just as fun as ever. So, whatever area of weight loss you’re struggling with, I would try and develop a mantra that will get you to stop and think about your actions… even if it’s only for 5 seconds before you pull into the McDonald’s drive-thru.
More tips to come, just as soon as I figure them out for myself…
In addition to the things I’ve figured out along my way, here are some resources I use often and find helpful:
BMI Calculator – BMI isn’t perfect, but I find it handy anyway.
BMR Calculator – This calculator will help you determine how many calories you should consume in a day to maintain/lose weight.
Couch to 5k – This is the running program I am currently following. I’ve never been a strong runner and I repeat the weeks until I feel comfortable (which sometimes means 4 or 5 repeats, maybe more). But, slow and steady wins the race…
SparkPeople – This is a great community for support. If you want to see what I’m eating everyday and doing during my workouts, check out the fitness and nutrition journals on my spark page. If you join, make sure to indicate that you heard about the site from me and make me a friend! My username is nikitakolata on there. 
iVillage – I love the message boards on iVillage. I visit them daily and they’re another great support network. Lately I spend the most time on the diet and fitness boards, but I can also be found pretty frequently on the love channel as well.
